A brief side note up front- if you are a female and haven’t read “More than Enough” yet please leave this page and go to the website or bookstore of your choice to get it. I think my notes section for this one ended up just being me copying most of the book if that tells you anything. Elaine’s outward story in and of itself is one I’ve always admired but getting a glimpse into who she is and the parts of her story I didn’t know has made her my #1 girlboss. We need more women like her to look to for inspiration and guidance. We need more women like her telling their stories about what it was like being the only black girl so there aren’t anymore stories about being the only black girl. Again, just go get the book.
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Have you ever noticed that everything in life and uh, the earth comes in waves? It’s like the law of everything. Something swings up, it peaks, then it dips down. Literally NOTHING trends upwards in a straight line forever. It’s why I’m always shocked when other people are shocked when there’s a recession and they look to someone to blame… like, it sucks but it’s the natural order of everything. Unfortunately, it is the same with moods even for someone as positive and forward focused as myself. And much like everything in life, we are shocked when the thing we know will happen to everyone else happens to us. Cue this past weekend.
Earlier this week? Riding high. Things were great. Coming off a super busy week, so many new ideas, some awesome concrete things happening and getting ready to really take off and…. I will spare you the details but a few things got derailed. At this point in my inward journey I have decided to fully recognize that my “mood” will always be in sync with whatever work I’m doing at the time. I do not advise this, it’s just how I’m built. I will continue to try to detach these two things from themselves because I KNOW it’s not healthy but I’ve realized it will just be a life-long journey for me ok? Cue the pity party. This idea sucks. Too many people are already doing it. It’s too late. I suck. There were some ACTUAL non- pity party related things that caused me to really stop and question whether I should keep moving forward or go back to square one but suddenly I remembered something I’d heard... Do it anyway.
Just for reference, here is a small list of all the businesses I’ve gotten oh-so-close to actually launching and didn’t for whatever reason-
Space (CLT)
Kick
Take Care
Day 300
Stuffit
These were not just random ideas- most of these were fully fleshed out with business plans, revenue projections and some paperwork that was obtained and never filed. And these are just the ones with decent names... in the last 5 years... while I worked 60+ hours a week.
I know I’ve said this 1 million times before but WHY are we so afraid of failure that we just decide not to try? I’ve come to realize after some self-reflection this week but I will use any excuse to self-sabotage and not do something if it’s just me on it. It’s like for all the boldness and not giving a shit I have in an organizational environment that gave me some success I have equal the opposite of that when it comes to myself.
So, I am moving forward despite any of the supposed red flags I’ve seen this week. Hell, I clearly don’t have the judgement to discern if they are actually red flags or just me trying to find an excuse to start over because maybe the next thing will be a better idea. I’m doing it anyway. If it sucks? No one but me will probably care. If it actually does fail? I will have learned more in the process of actually doing it than I will just reliving this same level over and over again.
In the very last lines in the last chapter of Elaine’s book she writes -
“When you find yourself existing in the space between dreams realized, parts of you will feel too big for where you are, while other parts of you will feel too small for where you’re going. Go anyway. Do not wait. Do not wonder if you can. Do not ask for permission. When you get lost, it’s okay to stop, to look up, to look within for the answers- they’re always there. And when the world tells you to shrink, expand. Remember: you have done enough. You are enough. You were born enough. The world is waiting on you.”
If you too have found yourself in a “this feels similar but it’s a different day” scenario- do the opposite of what you’ve done every other time. Don’t shrink back. Do it anyway. We’ll check back in on each other in a few months and see how it went.
